Let's talk about failure.

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"Nobody tells you about failure. People always talk about winning, vision, getting what you want. People don’t talk about fear, it’s always keeping fear at bay. Squelching it. Throwing it away.  I have embraced fear and failure as a part of my success. I understand that it's part of the grand continuum of life. I've been through it all. Breakups, heartache, and I've lost a parent already. So now I get it at this age, I get that, that is it. That life literally is what you make it.” ~ Viola Davis

When I read this quote, it really resonated with me. I had just experienced something I’ll call a ‘major failure’ and it felt …well…horrible. I went through the gamut of feelings of rejection, low self-esteem, and depression. And then I went on an indulgent track, eating and watching TV series (The good wife, Grey’s anatomy, No, I do not watch Game of thrones Lol) all day long. I literally felt useless until I just decided I really had to snap out of it. I had to decide to face up to the 'failure', learn my lessons and get back to living immediately. I just couldn't continue to wallow in negative feelings anymore. And so I did. I snapped out of it. OK, it wasn't as easy as it sounds. It did take a while. Sometimes I still feel bad about it but I have learnt to talk myself out of that feeling. When I read Viola’s interview (She's amazing y the way) , it just hit me how true it was. We really do not talk about failure. That’s probably why we view failure as the end of our lives sometimes (no pun intended). Failure should be a stepping stone. And I’m not saying people don’t fail for reasons like being lazy, not doing enough or not doing the right thing. People definitely fail because of those reasons but what about when you actually tried everything humanly possible, put in all the time and effort and yet still fail? What about those times? How do you not let it define you? How do you rise again? Most of the celebrated leaders and achievers we know had to deal with failure at some point in their lives but I realize, they didn't let it define them. They used it as a stepping stone. Steve Jobs, Abraham Lincoln and all the others decided to learn from their failures and use it as a stepping stone for phenomenal success. So you failed at something? Got rejected for a job interview? Fell short of something you wanted to accomplish? Yes it hurts but please let it hurt, don’t ignore it, don’t shut it out or give excuses. Accept it, and don’t ignore the lessons. It may mean it’s not for you. It may mean there was a smarter way to do it. It could mean anything but don't let it define you. accept it and move forward. Even you take two steps forward and one step backward. Just keep trying to move forward. And you will! Remember life is what you make of it. You are remarkable. Tomie.